haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
