you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
