i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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