you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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