Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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