Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Who did Billy Mays play for?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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