You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
