If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
