so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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