he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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