I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
