ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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