No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
