the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
