Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
