filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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