Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
