He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
