True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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