If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
