He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
