Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Less talking, more tequila
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
