I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Everyone says I win the strip club
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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