Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
