oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
