Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
