Buhtt sex?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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