Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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