after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
