found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
