whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
