you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
