it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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