just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
