I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
