This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
