Christians are straight up FREAKS
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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