I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
