HIV tests are more positive than that guy
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
