worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
