do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
