It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
