I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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