I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
