He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
