so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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