i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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