Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
