So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We don't watch enough power rangers
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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