His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
