some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
