I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
