yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
it's like iHOP with fire
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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